26 April '06
"Triumph In The Skies",
completed watching it a few days back.
its indeed a nice and wonderful show.
and i love the show loads~
and the songs are wonderful too!!!
through the show, i've learnt alot of things.
for instance, i've learnt.....
- to give and take
- to have mutual trust and respect
- having right attitude to sucess
- that love is something cannot be forced
- to fight for your love and desires
- THE POWER OF LOVE
and many many other things...
the show made me cry, made me laugh..
and more importantly, it made me realised...
without
HIM, i can still lead a happy life.
without
HIM, i will still be the same old me.
without
HIM, my life still has to go on.
but i still find myself unable to forget him...and i really really really hate myself for that.the show's wonderful~
and i'm gonna watch it over again,
as soon as the exams are over. haha~
wells, just got home from tuition.
and nothing much got into my head.
its rather a waste of two hours.
i dont feel sleepy, but i just couldnt concentrate.
tuition's on again for tomorrow and saturday.
this is for Additional math.
my E math tuition had yet to be confirmed. sighs.
exams' really nearing..
and i've yet to prepare myself for it.
i'm scared, i'm really really scared.
but i just dont have the mood,
to sit down and study for a good 2 hours?!?!
workload's heavy, tests still going on.
and i'm having tests every of the day practically.
and my saturday belongs to the school.
i've to go back for a 3 hour math lesson.
and right after that, a good 2 hours of Amath tuition.
5 hours of math straight from 0745.
any kind soul willing to save me from torture?
but wells, my mood start coming back slowly..
and i'm gonna plan my mode of revision for the coming week.
gonna mug so hard as if there's no tomorrow..
I WANTNEED TO PASS MY MYE WELL!!!alrights. i'm gonna take a shower..
and start planning for my revision from friday onwards.
and sleep right after that i think.
'cos my fever's back.
THANKS TO THE RAIN THIS AFTERNOON.
or should i say, Thanks to the HEAVY RAIN?!?!
*shakes head*
anyways~
people, study hard now,
and play harder after MYE!!!
GOOD LUCK TO ALL =D
And my dear sister is flying to Canada,
for a good 3 months from next week onwards.
She's flying on the 3rd of May.
And I can't send her off.
'cos I'm having school in the morning.
THREE WHOLE MONTHS.
damn-ittill then (:
24th April '06
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED DADDY (:alrights. firstly, HAPPY B'DAY to MY DADDY.
May you stay happy always with mommy and stay healthy always!
hmmm. counting down 6 days to my first exam paper.
i'm all stressed up. but wells, i will do my best.
didn't attend school today. was tired, or rather, i didn't feel like going.
sometimes i really feel that i really need the break.
or,
my break, the break i needed for myself instead.
exams' coming real soon, and i know i shouldn't be like this now.
but, after 3 years of trying.. i fully understand one thing.
that is, not to force yourself at the wrong time.
figure that out, yourself.okays, whatever is it. i'm glad now.
for the effort i've put in to paying attention in class.
cos now i saved lots of trouble and time in spending
more time in revision.
cos i bascially understand the basics.
and i just need to read up more to refreshen myself with the stuff.
well, all this was what i feel after a heart-to-heart talk with nicole (:
enough about studies. its getting real irritating.
i seriously haven't had much activities going on for now.
or rather, for the past one month. cos i am really really busy.
but wells, i just have to persevere for another 3 weeks, thats it.
i'll be able to have many things to update about once again.
for now, its just the normal daily routines, studies updates and so..
oh by the way, one great thing done today.
i had my IC done today finally. and i saw my pic for my ic.
it's NICE for my own point of view (:
alrights, gonna have a tag reply and off i go.
gonna watch the last part of my HK series,
then there i go off to bed.
my tag replies...oscar;
are you better bro? sorry, noted that you tagged sometime back. was really busy till now, then i had the time to reply you. sorry yeah.. and take care of yourself! life isn't bored. remember, the life doesn't take control of you. you take control of your life instead! you are the one who's suppose to make your life interesting!! understand? wish you luck in finding interesting things in life!! and share with me after that ehs~ dont be selfish!!! haha (:
Cloud;
eh, you kuku lah. LOL. i'm not being biased okay! you know how things are... you dumbie. but anyways, since the TITLE matters so much... i now should call you my DARLING BROTHER. its much better that bro only right?!!?? hahaha (:
anon.;
thanks, but let us forget about it. she's my friend. i dont wanna pursue the matter. thanks anyways~ by the way, you are? (:
unknown;
sometimes, i wonder what's the use of your parents giving you a name? is it for some rubbish purposes? or do you think that your name sucks as well? well, this isn't the matter now. actually, i have no idea why am i entertaining you in answering your queries. or replying to your comments. in one way or another, i really despise you. and this is from the bottom of my heart. may i ask, what exactly do you know about me and my ex boyfriend? and what do you actually know about my life now? i dare say, NOTHING. well, i wont leave out the possibilities of you being one of my ''good'' friend. but if you really are one of my friends, i can say, never will i regard you as my friend anymore. reason being, you dont understand me at all. not even a bit. your language mustn't be very bad, cos if not, i doubt you'll be able to understand my emotions and feelings through reading my entries. yes, i'm sad over him still. but you said you
think i'm acting. maybe to you, i am. but for friends, who truly knows me, they will know it without having me to speak. unlike you, be it you're an outsider or one of my friend, you need everything to be told to you for you to understand. which means you are more than UNSENSITIVE. through reading your tag, i really love my parents and siblings alot more. though i still feel that i'm still rather conservative in some thoughts, but i'm not that DUMB as YOU. even my parents who are in their 40s, can understand the fact that there can actually be pure friendships between the two different genders. whereas you, you cant. i've no idea what your parents have been teaching you. but its none of my biz. cos its not my loss. maybe you're seeing green when you sees me having many guy-friends. cos you dont have many.. or some other dumb reasons. but wells, it is up to you to judge me. but this is one question for you. How right do you think you are, in the position to judge me? ask yourself that. in life, i'm really glad to have many CLOSE friends around be it guys or females. we may be that close to the extent of having people misunderstood us as couples.. but what is the true story behind it? do you really know? alot of my friends are my buddies, if i was really a flirt, i wouldn't have remained single for a year until now, and i wouldn't have had only two ex boyfriends. and if i was really a flirt, my beloved ex boyfriend would not have be with me for so long. but it was a good thing that he truly understands me, as a friend, his partner, his lover, his everything. unlike you, your partner will bound to suffer if he or she were to get together with you. cos you purely do not understand. it is now up to you to judge. its your mouth, your mind. i've no control over them. i doubt saying this much helps. cos i doubt you will ever understand. so well, wish you good luck then. remain in your world of conservative-ness. you will bound to die badly one day soon, if you dont open up~ and, state your name IF you even have one. unless you extremely hate your name, then forget it. HAHAHA.
losercristal;
thanks darling. its okays. like i've said earlier to
unknown, he/she as an outsider or a friend, does not truly understands me. and i will not acknowledge a friend like this. its total disgrace~ only YOU understand ehs? HAHAHA!! anyways, thanks. and LOVE YOU lah!! haha (:
wells, such a waste of time typing some useful things to some useless bitch.
its totally stupid. and its just wasting my resources and time. gosh.
cos even if i'm sincere in typing everything out...
i think the stupid one will NOT understand a single thing written.
the stupid one will just live in his/her own world of conservative-ness.
which is a totally dumb act by a totally dumb person.
i'm not angry, but sad and sorry for that person.
can't believe such idiots actually exist.
but anways. its his/her problem, not MINE will do..
'cos its NOT MY LOSS!! its HIS/HERS!!! hahaha =D
okays, gotta go off. am getting tired.
but am watching my show before i sleep! hahaha!
love to all (:
20 April '06
this will not be long, i hope.
cos i've to study for my test tmr.
and finish up my folio and the processes thingy.
seriously, design&tech is driving me crazy man..
someone help me please~
alrights, let me start with school.
school hasn't been any better.
the
usual routines, the
usual people.
in short, school life's boring.
and on the very top of it... school sucks.
for no wonderful reasons, my class is involved.
involved in nothing good, but speech day.
which is on TOMORROW, which is a FRIDAY.
its okay actually you know...
but school's gonna end at 1030 hrs..
and the bloody ceremony is from 1700 to 2200 hrs.
and will anyone tell me why is my whole class involved?
OH GOD, SAVE ME PLEASE~
okays~ whatever. but for now...
i'm terribly tied down with DnT, which is a sub i hate most.
but yet, its a subject any Tom, Dick or Harry could score for.
so if i were to drop it, i'll be awfully dumb.
well, enough about school.
my birthday had just past by..
gifts still come in there and then..
this year's birthday wasn't as fantastic..
maybe because
he's not around?
well, i don't think i can help it but to feel that way..
cos my past 2 birthdays, i always had him around..
this year, i think he has really forgotten..
or maybe he just want us to seriously separate for awhile..
i didn't get to receive any of his wishes or whatsoever.
i really dont know why, i really dont know..
but my heart just feels like crying..
but i doubt crying will ever help anymore..
its useless.
besides that... let me
thank my dearests,
for your wishes & gifts. namely...
Ray Daddy, Sylvia Jiejie, Peng Jiejie,
Cheryl darling, Jeslyn sweetheart, Haohan bro,
Winnie darling, YenChin darling, Glenn bro,
Marcus bro, Cristal Aiai, GuangRong,
WenXin, Celest, Wilson, Michelle, Nick,
YaoJie bro, Oscar bro, Pris darling,
Sharon, Phebe Jiejie, SiYing, Sebestian,
Nicole, Joleen, Alex, HuaHan, Flor, XiaoMin,
Joclyn, JinJin, boo!, Sam, and many many others i can't remember.
And of course not forgetting my lovely sisters!! (:
for those i've forgotten, forgive me please! hehe.
well, i'm really hoping to lead a happier life now.
but on my birthday itself, i've been through unhappy events.
not one, not two. but i dont know how many.
i dont really wanna go think about it..
making myself upset by it and all.
all i want now, is to live my life happily...
like what many have said..
there wont be any happiness if you force it to come your way.
for both HIM and
HIM, i guess i really have to put a stop to it.
forget both, forget them as though i've never met them before.
i hope i can.. and i know i will, one day...
alrights, am currently obssessed with a new HK serials.
my sis rent that show.. ''Triumph in the Skies''.
its indeed a new show.. very
LOVE. haha.
and i'm so so SO SO SO in love with the actors&actresses!!
but wells, not many likes HK shows.
so nevermind, i've always liked it.
so i shall go enjoy the show myself and make myself happy (:
its quite a long entry.. shan't drag any further.
shall go off and start mugging hard for my DnT.
i hope i don't fall asleep in the process of trying to complete.
and i so wanna continue with my show later on. HAHAHA.
its total addictions man!!
but i must have LOTS and LOTS of self-control.
exams' really round the corner, i've to work EXTRA hard.
SL meeting 9am this saturday people! outside Sk CC.
and goodie news, i've A-math tuition at 11am after that.
Oh, GOOD LUCK to me ):
gonna be off to start doing my work.
tonnes of them for weekends and stuff.
lots of revision to be done as well.
tests, tests, and more tests for me next week.
and exams' the following week if im not wrong.
shit.sighs, till next time people~
forgetting you is what i've been trying to do..unlike you, i cant let go of our past that easily.and i knew you've long forgotten me, mr. LIAR ):
counting down !!
reply to my tags:
cristal;
the haloscan one if possible? you know how to go about putting one up? i've created an account under haloscan if you need my pass and id to help me do it up.. darling, just go ahead and log into my blogger if you know how to do. and sms me if you need my pass and id to my haloscan's account. currently away from the computer you see.. hehe, and thanks in advance (: and darling, did you go for tuition just now? kumar called me twice around 1900+ and messaged me. was wondering what happened... hope its not something bad.. *cross fingers. LOL.
boo!;okays, just got it. his next (and should be the last for the time being) is on this coming wednesday (19th April) from 1500 to 1600 hrs. well, same thing. i can't bring myself to ask him directly.. you may say i'm worrying too much or whatsoever, i'm just a little scared. scared of what, i too, dont know. sighs~ yeahs, i know. before any decision made or whatsoever, i should have had gotten the facts right.. hmmm. you want his MSN? maybe you could drop me a mail or something.. and.. why do you need to give him a good thrashing? and, why did you scolded him with the F-word? oh gosh, did he really make you that angry? wells, i hope not.. oh by the way, it seems like i couldn't get hold of your email add. could you tag it instead of trying to link it from here? i think there's some problems in between.. yeahs, sorry for the trouble~
i really am wondering...
if you would just drop me a message,
wishing me Happy Birthday,
at the very least~bad bad bad~!!!
why on earth do i still think of him?!?!
oh God, my 15th Birthday must-do:
TO FORGET HIM.
brainwash, car accident, whatever nots.
i just wish to start afresh HAPPILY,
with someone new by my side if possible (:
tags replies~
to cristal;THEY ARE TOGETHER!! unexpected ehs? haha~
to boo!;i know its a one-sided love. i know its one-sided right from the beginning. i couldn't find the courage to talk to him although he's been online for a really long time today. though he has yet to say, but i guess what his friends say shouldn't be very wrong. i'm very fine with you helping me to take the first step of telling him about me.. but can you please tell me what is his reaction, etc? but if possible, could you email me what his reaction was? i'd like to have that kept rather private. cos the news of me liking sam is spreading very very fast in school. and i don't wish much things to be revealed here so that people could actually gossip about it and come asking me about sam in school. wells, one-sided love is indeed a very painful thing anyone could go through.. sometimes, the person is unaware of it and makes you misunderstand his/her real feelings. and, i've decided on writing him a letter or note, to let him know everything after you've speaked to him. cos i would like to know his reaction of having a 15 year old liking him, before i write him a letter. and i very clearly know and understand that i shouldnt be liking him anymore if he really has a thing for someone. hmm.. his meetings always fall on a wednesday. due to the upcoming exams in another 2 weeks, i'm not sure if they do have meeting on this coming wednesday. i'll let you know when i get the news? hmm. i know you'll have much to advice me on and stuff. i'll try to make a comment box soon.. so you can have bigger space to type. cos i can't seem to get it done earlier this afternoon when i tried. well, for now, i think i've decided on waiting for you to let me know what his reaction is and so.. then i'll get my classmates who are in his group for meeting to pass the letter to him.. and, from there... i'll see how things go and stuff. well, if after that.. things are made in such a way whereby i'm suppose to move on, i guess i will just move on slowly...
aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh~
gonna drop dead and sleep like a log.
but i know i can't. cos i've to wake up at 5am.
to study for my stupid SS test early 8am later on.
oh people, wish me luck... and may God bless me yeahs~
oh~ any kind soul knows how do i put a comment box up?
tag me if you know, thanks~
nites all (:
Randoms~
My reply to boo!;Okays~ If really, he has a thing for some girl, I guess I could only wish him all the best.. Afterall, loving is not owning. Plus, love is about self-sacrificing to see the one you love happy. Like what we've once said before.. If we (sam&me) are really meant to be, then we will be together no matter how difficult its gonna be, or how long its gonna take.. But if we were never meant to be, then even if we get together, we will still part some day. But what you say is true.. I'll never know without trying.. And its agreed that taking the first step is really the toughest for now, at least. I dont know whether its a bad thing or what. Really, I seem to have nothing to say to him whenever he's online or when he's over at my school. And I think its not really appropriate for me to go ask him if he likes someone, etc.. Afterall, we dont really know each other. So, it will be very very weird if I were to ask him if he feels something for someone.. Sometimes, I really dislike the way I am now.. I've never been so lack of confidence before... In the past, when I really liked someone, I would be able to take out that confidence to go make friends with the one I liked. Maybe the difference lies in the time I'm able to see him. Cos the 2 guys I liked before (which is also my 2 ex-boyfriends) are guys I see almost everyday (in the past). We spent time together as a big group playing ball games, cycling, camping and so.. And we also called each other to talk over the phone as friends. But as for sam, I hardly gets to see him, and we hardly talk over msn, let alone the phone or sms. My past two relationships had somehow made me lose alot of confidence in myself.. Many of the times, I really need someone there for me to rely on, someone there to shower his care and love on me.. But I really have no idea how to start, how to proceed. Sometimes I really feel very tired loving someone secretly, without him knowing who I am, without him knowing that someone is here having to feel something for him.. Everything seems so right when he's around... But, you know... Unwillingly, I really feel like giving it all up...
Updates on VAUNT @ MOS...Dear friends, I can only have about 10 people on MY guestlist (which means we can go in without having to queue for that an hour or two). My list goes on a first come first serve basis exclusively for my friends ONLY and its very full already. PENDING List (in order of F.C.F.S):Jeslyn, YiXuan&co. (adds up to 8 people), YenChin, Cristal&co. (4 people).Oh, by the way people.. The minimum age to get into MOS that night is 16. No ICs or whatsoever will be provided to get you in. So please make sure you're 16 and you bring your own IC. *THERE WILL NOT HAVE ANY REFUNDS FOR TICKETS IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO GET IN. And please do not ask me how I go into clubs. I will NOT answer questions like this. So people, please tag or contact me personally if you need tickets or whatsoever enquiries. Tickets going at $18. Let me know ASAP if you need the tickets.Thank You (:
do YOU even know?
my heart broke;
not because you've broken my heart.
but because i can't help thinking...
its been so long, really so long..
going to a year already...
yet i still can't forget totally...
i don't know what was it,
that makes me think of you suddenly..
maybe it's really the past, the memories..
you know how much i wish,
i wish i could forget you, forget the pain?
but i doubt you'd ever know it...
cos you're happily in LOVE.
i know i could too...
but you know me well, don't you?
i don't wanna be deceiving myself,
as well as the other party
that i love him while i still think of you..
i really hate myself alot, darling.
i can't help, but to think if you're doing fine..
if she's taking really good care of you..
if you're doing fine together with her..
if you're really a happier man now..
if your family is doing well..
if your health is getting better..
if your old injuries still hurt..
if you're doing okay financially..
there's so many things i want to know,
i want to ask.. yet i can't bring myself to ask,
and to care as a good friend.
you know, i really love you.
i really love spending every sec of my life with you..
and i really love everything about you..
but our r/s hurts me so much..
and it hurts me very much for me to say this.
but i really wish i have never met you...
only then, i'll still be my usual self...
the Vivian who's really happy no matter what~
i know i have to forget you, but i can't.i should have stopped missing you, but i know i can't~tell me, what should i do?i miss you~
11th April '06
Silence was what i got from you. Is that how far we could actually go? And do you know, its actually the silence that breaks the heart?so quickly, 2 weeks of April has past. and we, the poor secondary students are left with only 2 more weeks to catch up with our revision for our annual Mid-Year examinations. which is totally insane. school has been real busy and all. school homework comes in PILES and MOUNTAINS, and there goes the same for my A-math tuition homework. i'm really going insane. haven't been returning to work for like close to a month, and there goes my income. ZERO. sighs. but well, i can't blame anyone. and there's nothing much i could do. i've school like almost every monday to saturday afternoon. and i've been lacking of sleep. which is essential to all. sighs, all these just makes me HATE school more. but wells, there's nothing much i could do. serious. guess i just have to work EXTRA hard to make sure every piece of work given is done... SIGHS.
no play time, no working time. basically my weekends are for me to finish up my homework and for attending SL meetings. and besides these, i'll just spend my weekends at home, not going anywhere for SLEEP. sighs. so basically, if you're gonna ask me how has my weekend been. i'll tell you straight in your face that it suck. i've spent it not on resting or relieving stress. my weekends is for my homework.. GREAT ehs? sighs sighs sighs.
i'm really racking my brain, thinking exactly what is interesting for me to share about for my past week or so. but i found none!!! except that, i fell, and practically slided across the netball court for some distance and had bad and rather deep injuries due to CAPTAIN's BALL. tsktsk. but sighs, forget it man. i think i'm destined to live a life filled with not love but INJURIES. every year, without fail, i'll get myself injured like this AT LEAST ONCE. but wells, despite the raw injuries. i still went ahead with my 2.4km run. and managed to do better than last year, and definitely, i managed to PASS!!! that was what i'm proud of! well, i can't expect myself to run in for the top10 positions. cos i'm not made for running, but i'm made for NETBALL, definitely (: well, until now.. its been a week or so since i fell. and the sight of the injuries still looks utterly gross and raw. and it seriously PUT ME OFF. ohgosh~ i so wanna recover ASAP.
well well, something SO GREAT is gonna fall upon me SO SOON!! and i'm over the moon!! bwahahas!! just in case my dear friends have forgotten, let me tell you!! ITS MY BIRTHDAY!! bwahahas (: alrights lah. i believe everyone gets the hint already right?!?! haha =D well, birthday is definitely not just the collection of gifts and more gifts from different people.. i too, have no idea what it is exactly right now.. but i hope i'll be able to realise the significance behind it soon.. hmmm. i'm so glad i've friends like bingy&co. and kelly&co. around.. countinuous crazy birthday bash going on for me on this friday and saturday!! and gonna meet up with my dear pasir ris girlies sometime soon!! and not forgetting the rest of my darlings.. haha. i'm SO SO SO HAPPY (:
to BOO!: thanks for still wanting to stand by me and help me though you really dont know what you could help me with. dont worry, i know you need time. and i dont expect you to help me right at this very moment. and dotn worry, i know it might hurt me in the end.. or most probably for a case like this, i know it'll definitely hurt me when i get to know the outcome. but wells, like many have said. if i dont try, i'll never know.. or maybe it is, i know i'll hurt. but i just refuse to accept the fact and thinks that there might be miracle... well, i've no idea whats he's looking in a girl too. but i guess, the girl may have to be one who shares close interests as him as i realised he is very very much of a sports person.. and i believe he hopes to have a girlfriend who doesnt just be together with him but a girlfriend who will goes worshipping God with him at every church service.. i really dont bear high hopes on anything about him. cos he's SL group members (some are my friends) told me that he said he's really too busy for any relationships matter. so yeah, i really dont dare to bear high hopes as well. hah. thanks yeahs? (:alrights, i'm done. and i'm deadmeat. i have yet to start on any of my work. GOD, BLESS ME PLEASE!!! my homework's little. but my Amath tuition work is enough to keep me awake and still going on until next morning 9am?!?! it's no joke. come help me complete it if you think i'm cracking a joke here. i'd gladly love to have you helping me complete (:
wells, will update soon. people, please take note of the party going on at MOS. let me know if you need tix. it'll be better than Romp at Zouk, definitely! and stay tune to more notices about parties! more great ones coming up soon (:
am really anticipating the upcoming celebrations! hope my birthday will really be an unforgettable one.. cos i hope, without him, i can still be as happy or happier than the days he helped me celebrated my past 2 birthdays. though i was really hoping there will be someone new here being there with me for my birthday.. but wells~ there will be, one day...
shant drag the whole entry. and i really need my bath. which will perks me up and motivates me (i HOPE) to go complete my work and not make me feel more sleepy~ hahaa. updates should be up real soon if things goes well.. take care people!!
till then (:
GetTheFunkOut PARTY UPDATES
GetTheFunkOut presents YOU...
VAUNT @ MOS
30th May '06
2000 till 0300
PLEASE TAG ME OR LEAVE ME A MESSAGE AT MY HOTMAIL FOR DETAILS/TICKETS (:
02 April '06
HAPPY 16th and 24th to MY DEAREST YENCHIN and NICK =D
friday was school's 6th sports day. this year's sports day was nothing different from the past years'. except that it rained half way through. LOL. but i love the rain. haha. centaurus was exceptionally boring. so kelly and me headed over to pegasus area. and started our usual bitchings with faiz, jingwen, etc. it was so much of fun gossiping about everything under the sun. HAHAHA. and soon, the event ended with pegasus emerging as the champs for this year FINALLY. the very first time in the past six years!! haha. as the event ends, the usual 2i group headed over to compass point for dinner. dined at yoshinoya. and then headed back home with flor at around 1830 hours. and had a great deal of time watching my faves throughout the nite (:
well, yesterday was April's Fool. but it was just another day for me.. had SL meeting with the usuals at the usual 9am but at compass point. haha. i was late, AS USUAL. haha. but i aint the latest!! bwahaha =D waited for kelly to reach, then headed to the sengkang cc for our meeting. well, it started out rather fun. had card games, and we definitely laughed till our side hurts. it was until 1 1/2 hours after the card games that we got serious with the discussion. so we discussed, and still decided on children's organisations. so yeah, the meeting went on and on.. and it only end around 1130 hours. only PC left for home, cos he's going to escape~ the rest which includes kelly, siying, mich, faiz, sebes, lucas, monkey and me headed to pizza hut for lunch. while guangrong left for the library. hahah. and after eating, we had a hard time deciding where to go.. so we just headed down to the arcade as the guys suggested. and the girls just left around 1345 hours. the 3 other girls left for home.. while i headed over to the mrt station to meet jiaxin.
went down to bugis. cos she needs to get lex's birthday present. and well, we ended up shopping for our own things before we even get bro's pressie. i bought one denim shorts, a bag and 2 clips. while jiaxin got another bag for herself, and a wallet for bro. while shopping at bugis village, we saw meiting. didnt see her until i saw the mirror's reflection -.- her hair was nicely done up in curls. and we chit chatted for awhile. and we just left carrying on with our shopping~ headed back home around 1900 hours. cos our feets are hurting like no one's business.. LOL. it was quite a fruitful trip lah. cos i got what i wanted and hon got what she wanted too~ (:
hmmm, it was sudden enough to hear from chiawei again.. glad to know he's doing fine, working at the same place as jerry. haha.. and bloody kelvin chua scared me like shit the other day. he's insane. HAHAHA.
A SPECIAL NOTE to YOU: dear bro, i'm sorry that i might have hurt you deeply.. but both you and me, have to get this clear.. love isn't a game. we have to go through a lot, to find the one that we really love. perhaps its because we've been exceptionally close as buddies. that led you to like me.. but bro, you've to be very clear headed. dont mixed the buddies kind of feelings up with love. its not the same, and will never be the same.. even if my heart aint with anyone now, i believe we'll remain as buddies always. let us remain as buddies for now.. if we're really meant to be together, we will be, no matter what. but if we're not, then we'll never be... the clouds will clear up soon. cheer up alright? i dont wish to see you, or any of my buddies upset. and i dont wish to see our buddies kind of relationship change because of this.. alrights? have faith in yourself, i believe you'll find someone who deserves your love soon (:
back to myself again.. well, i've been feeling rather emo again. i dont know what shit has gotten into me this time. maybe i really need to go for a brainwash session and lead my life afresh like a fresh piece of paper. or else, i'll always be feeling so so emo for someone who doesn't deserve my love, my tears.. and i just realised, time doesn't cure anything at all.
i hope all those that i'm feeling now, aint true. cos i dont wish for it to be the truth. i dont wanna be hurt again. i dont want my feelings to be hurting myself. though i yearn for being loved again, though i wished to be in love again now.. but i hope the guy i fall in love with, is the right guy and not someone who treats me as his girlfriend, just because i'm his girlfriend. i just realised, wanting to be loved by the one you love is not easy. not anymore...
till then.
